Review: Danny Tyree – Do you want your receipt?

What’s driving this sudden change?Is it related to our carbon footprint?I apologize if I accept that 4 square inches of wax paper and store it in a desk drawer will strangle a turtle somewhere (and wonder how these cowardly little reptiles will respond to an asteroid strike).
Yes, receipts do seem to breed like rabbits in my wallet full of credit and gift cards, loyalty cards and sloppy banknotes.
That’s why I’m deeply disturbed by the recent phenomenon of retail clerks with some variation of “Would you like your receipt?”Or “Would you like a receipt?” Take the time to judge!
I can understand “do you prefer a receipt in your bag?” or “would you like to have a receipt emailed?”; but the serious all-or-nothing question is very triggering.
Call me old school, but I like to take trading for granted.Stop existential interrogation!What’s Next in the Field of Disrespectful Retail Inquiries?”Would you like to leave the milk in the jar?” “Do you prefer a fitting room with or without a latch?”
In my more naughty moments, I’d love to see “Do you want a receipt?” The clerk carefully pulled out my phone and pretended to have a conversation, like “Sniper in place? We have a hostage problem here.”
What’s driving this sudden change?Is it related to our carbon footprint?I apologize if I accept that 4 square inches of wax paper and store it in a desk drawer will strangle a turtle somewhere (and wonder how these cowardly little reptiles will respond to an asteroid strike).
Also, convince the customer from the receipt if it’s “too little, too late” before the customer swallows his Slim Jim, jumps into the cab of his monster truck and roars to start the cleanup (ecologically speak) virgin forest?
Alternatively, the reluctance to print receipts could be a cost-cutting measure.Hey, if you’re on the brink of bankruptcy like that, you better be extra nice to me or I’ll push you over the edge.(“Yes, I want my receipt. A copy of my receipt! And a stack of napkins for my glove box. And some ketchup packets. I don’t care if this is a furniture store – I want My ketchup bag!”)
Alternatively, a Stepford clerk may dutifully follow company instructions to provide additional assistance.Hey, if saving me from the fear of being stuffed in a shirt pocket brings them happiness, I can think of more ways for them to find happiness.My shed needs some tidying up this weekend, how about watering my plants while I’m on vacation?
When shop assistants make these grand gestures, do customers expect something in return?(“Okay, I’ll dance at your wedding, I’ll co-sign your loan, but I’ll have to think about donating a kidney, Cindi and An I.”)
Most receipts are never seen again, but it’s short-sighted to drop yours when you’re most likely haggling with customer service about the return of a piece of clothing that didn’t fit or electronics that didn’t work properly.(“I swear I bought it here. Please give me credit. It’s beautiful, with a cherry on it. No, I can’t prove I’ve paid for the cherry either…”)
When retailers lure shoppers into facing income tax audits without receipts, they’re not doing them any favors.(“I know if I have a receipt, I can deduct my new printer, but Zachary with W makes such a persuasive case.”)
Stand back, clerks!I grew up at a time when the “purchase proof stamp” made sense.You would pry my receipt from my cold, syrupy fingers.


Post time: Mar-01-2022